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    Thursday, April 14, 2005

    Oww! Oww, Stop! My Sides Hurt!

    Hey there, friends and neighbors! I'm back to wreck the joint while Ljly's away in DC.

    Sauntered over to Bill O'Lielly's website after Media Matters caught him in another blatant fib, and nearly fell off my chair laughing.

    Get this! His email newsletter? It's called "The Spin Stops Here" - BWAHAHAHA! Ouch! My stomach!

    I decided not to submit my email address to receive such inane rantings, although I'm sure a weekly dose of such ridiculousness would help keep my stomach muscles ripped. Perhaps ol' "Falafel Sex" Bill should start marketing it as a weight management program.

    THAT'S IT! I've hit the new fad exercise!
    • Learn to breathe deeply when gasping at Bush's audacity!
    • Run further and faster than ever before from the retardedness of MSM on TV!
    • Strengthen and tone your stomach muscles by laughing at GOP pundits and spin monkeys!
    • Weight train by practicing to toss your computer out a window (additional purchase of new computers may be necessary depending on rage level)!
    But that's not all!

    If you act now, you will receive the bonus lesson: Learn to project your voice by yelling at the asshattery of people like Tom DeLay and JeffJamesGannonGuckert!

    Order within the next 15 minutes and we'll throw in a free copy of Bill O'Reilly's work of fiction, Those Who Trespass - Look out! A killer is on the loose, and wants revenge. Television executives and correspondents are his prey. Can New York City Detective Tommy O'Malley crack the case - or will he be scooped by sultry tabloid reporter Ashley van Buren? And do they have more in common than a knack for solving crimes? Find out...

    Damn, if you could only see how fantastic my abs look after reading that book description. Later kids!

    Now that all posts are old and moldy, you're more than welcome to steal what you want. Email me

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